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During Easter dinner, my daughter-in-law threw a wine glass at me when I refused to let her parents move into my house; “You’re being selfish!” my son said, and she added, “You have empty bedrooms!” So I smiled, got up, and drove to the ER; while bleeding, I texted my lawyer, “Phase one is complete.” The police came!

During Easter dinner, my daughter-in-law threw a wine glass at me when I refused to let her parents move into my house; “You’re being selfish!” my son said, and she…